Elita: Now Weather Anchor in Los Angeles

You go gurl!

http://www.knbc.com/station/14378484/detail.html?taf=la#

Elita's Final Forecast for Miami

Elita announced today that this was her final forecast for Miami. She is "going home to California".

I have enjoyed waking up to Elita every morning and am sad to see WSVN and Miami losing such a gorgeous first class meteorologist.

Elita, best of luck to you in Cali. I am certain that you will be a tremendous success.

Through all the criticism and praise of your fashion choices I'd like to say that your best assets are definitely your beautiful smile and radiant personality which brighten even the darkest day. Elita, you are truly stunning.

Best regards,

Brian

femme fatale !

After a stormy start to October Elita scores a perfect 10 in Thursday's ensemble.

The mulberry form fitting sweater embellished with vertical obsidian glamour -piping draws the eye directly to the ebony pencil skirt and strappy pumps.

Today's rating: perfect 10 !

Urbane

Today's forecast: 82

Winds: ENE 16 mph

Bay: light chop

Humidity: 76%

For the first time I actually heard the weather.

I like this look. Urbane. Sophisticated. But I'm missing the fuzzy micro-sweaters of forecasts past.

Today's rating: 8

The girls were locked and loaded in a simple taut incandescent pink sweater paired with airtight black slacks.



The pic above is sunny and sexy. From the side, however, Elita looks like an NYPD special agent or detective....almost butch. It seems that just out of view there may be a police badge, a glock, a walkie-talkie, and a scrunchie fastened to her holster-like belt so she can go fight crime and stuff. I think Mariska Hartigay has worn this outfit on Law and Order SVU.

Today's rating: 6.9

It looks like a hot pink hot air balloon has deflated and landed on our beautiful storm tracker.

If a gust of wind had blown through the studio would Elita have become airborne like that fat kid in Willy Wonka?

Word association

Waist up:

• cosmo
• chic
• Hermes
• glitterati
• executive
• Gotham

Waist down:

• Applebees

Hoochita?

Today Elita channeled her alter ego "Hoochita" and paid tribute to Hialeah in a fuchsia cotton blouse complete with exploding mushroom thunder sleeves.

I like the skirt with it's peek-a-boo slit.

As the eye travels south one can't help but notice the bump-and-grind exotic dancer gear strapped to her feet. With (GASP) black nail polish.

I've included a suggestion for future forecasts just in case the producers decide to capitalize on this look and install a pole.

Today's rating: 5

Who needs an extra two inches?

Today Elita selected an obsidian mini-dress paired with biscuit open-toed pumps.

This outfit is not very flattering. The dress is about two inches too short gathers at the midsection and the rump area making her appear plump. I think this dress would look much better un-belted and worn over a pair of True Religion Jeans with pointy pumps.

Today's rating: 7.88**

**Tuesday's rating includes extra points for pump selection and bone structure.

Elite Elita Patrol

I was at work during Friday's forecast but luckily Brian has an elite team standing by on hottie patrol for situations like this.

Friday's look is all about balance. Yin and Yang. The refined super low V-neck ebony sweater and simple slacks strike the perfect balance with the turbulent pucci-esqe print blouse with it's fancy cuffs and capacious collar.

Special thanks to my Elite Elita Patrol (aka my husband) for providing me with Friday's pic.

Today's rating: 9.06

Happy Columbus Day!

In 1492 Christopher Columbus crossed the ocean blue in the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria to find the new world.

In 2007 Elita crossed the causeway in an Aston Martin to find the North Bay Village studios of Channel 7. As dawn broke over the bay Elita paid tribute to Cristobal Colon in a snappy fuchsia button down blouse paired with a grey pencil skirt and fetching strappy black pumps.

I like.

today's rating: 9.89

Glamazon

Has somebody been shopping at Bal Harbor? Check out those perfect pumps! Seriously though... this ensemble allows the viewer to focus on Elita's beautiful silhouette.

She looks like Miss Universe doing the weather. Totally awesome.

Today's rating: 10

Imposter!

Um, who are you and what have you done with Elita? Where did you find those clothes? I've seen that scooped-neck sweater before.

Have you been rummaging through Elita's closet?

Vivian, you're adorable but that look is taken!

Are all of the anchors sharing sweaters? What's Richard Lemus wearing today?

overwing exit

This morning Ms. Loresca chose all black with a hint of powder peek-a-boo blue.

She appears to be pointing out an overwing exit.

Remember when all flight attendants looked like this? (pre -1994 when airlines had weight restricitons ) Good times. Good times.

Today's rating: 8.79

V is for Victory

Elita's pixelated profile popped onto the screen this morning to reveal a sassy raspberry sweater smartly layered atop an ebony tee . The eye is immediately drawn to the black tee which forms a "V" as in virgin or victory. Well, my eye bounces around a bit between the "V" and the giant red buckle.

Noticeably absent are the puffy sleeves and plastic jewelry of summertime. Atta gurl!!
Oh crap. I forgot to pay attention to the weather again...

Today's rating: 9.56

911

911 What's your emergency?

(Shallow breathing ) Help! Help! There's a stripper on Channel 7 and I need to know if I should take my umbrella to work. Oh God no! Please hurry! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ma'am. Ma'am. I need you to remain calm. Look at your TV again. NO! I'm afraid! Ma'am we have units on the way... look at your screen now. It's Elita Loresca and she's telling us that it's going to rain all day and we can expect moderate chop in Biscayne Bay. Oh. In the pink cotton sweater? I see now. Oh thank you. Thank you so much! No problem Ma'am. We've been getting calls all morning. That's what we're here for.

BOGO?

I'm not trying to hate here... but what's up with the Hialeah hoochie footwear? It seems as though the producers at WSVN are underestimating the size of Elita's homosexual fan base. FYI: we tend to keep a safe distance from BOGO: the buy one get one free sale event at PayLess. Say it with me now:



Jimmy Choo ( Jim-E-Chew).


Through intensive online research I have come to the conclusion that Elita's footwear might be part of the Christian Louboutin collection (Is he from Hialeah?), not PayLess. Anyway , I know I represent most South Florida (probably nationwide) Gays when I say I'd love to see our hot stormtracker deliver a forecast in Jimmy Choo's "Eleven Silk Satin Shoe" - $ 485 - in stock right now at JimmyChoo.com .

On University Drive in Davie...

The Samsung was on mute this morning as I prepared myself for a busy day at the office so I'm not entirely sure what Elita was saying here. But I think it went something like this: Richard Lemus leads in...

And now for a check on today's weather let's go to the weather center and Channel 7's .....ELITA LORESCA! Good morning Elita. Is it going to be a wet one today?

Good morning everyone. I was just giving my stylist directions to pick up some more grey balloon sleeved accordion pleated jersey knit sweater-T's. Don't forget. I like the ones with a waist band! Take I-595 to University Drive and go LEFT. Go about a mile and you'll see Ross (dress for less) on the right. Just in case you get lost the address is 1900 S. University Drive in Davie. Hours may vary. Please call the store for more information.

Today's rating: 7

Mullet

Today's outfit is a mullet: Business on top...party on the bottom.

Top half: white cotton. snug. slightly see-thru. French cuffs. Very Miami. Sexy. Vintage Elita!

Bottom half: let's just say there is a bank teller somewhere in Kentucky wearing these same pants..... or maybe a burn victim. On TV that flesh-toned polyester looks like a pressurized burn-garment.

Today's rating: 6.32

Black is the new Turquoise

Remember when Elita tracked the tropics in a fuzzy turquoise puffy-sleeved micro- sweater embellished with sequins and a giant button? You don't? See Friday, May 4 .

Monday's look was more Diane Sawyer, less Britney Spears. Is there a new stylist in the house? Did the sweater shrink in the dryer?

Today's rating: 8.26

Elita to leave Miami???

I'm so distracted by the possibility of losing Elita to Los Angeles that it has taken me two days to post on Thursdays ensemble.

Is it true?

http://www.exigi.com/fltv/2007/08/18/elita-loresca-to-the-west-coast/#comment-251345

How will I know if it's going to rain? This changes everything! Say it isn't so Elita!

Today's rating: 8 (great colors)

Elita for President!

With today's look Ms. Loresca has the power to change the world. Damn.

This look has something for everyone. While some Elita devotees are drooling over that fabulous figure I'm speechless over that lustrous mane and those open-toed pumps.

Wait... Is it supposed to rain today? I was distracted...

Today's rating: best so far in 2007 10++

7 Tropics Low & Wave T.D. #8?

Confused? Me too.
This morning Elita paired an electric watermelon top with black pants.

The blouse confused me with its oversized collar, oversized sleeves, and two types of mini-pleats.

Today's rating: 6.9

Perfect Ten!

It's the official peak of the storm season and I'm hoping that today's ensemble is a peek at Elita '08. The solid sweater over the tasteful print blouse allows your eye to focus on Elita's features.

Sophisticated. Sexy. Stunning.

Today's rating: Perfect 10

Ready for Action.

Elita is ready for action in an ebony satin retctangular scoop necked bullet- proof vest secured over an ivory print blouse which has been retrofitted with shoulder-mounted floatation devices.

Unfortunately it looks like the left one has been prematurely deployed. Be careful Elita!

Why all this precaution? Well, there is a Cat-5 storm lumbering toward Nicaragua, however, my guess is that immediately following this morning's forecast Elita will hop in to a waiting news-chopper to be rushed to her 10:15 appointment with Peaches, her nail tech in Opa Locka. (This explains the bullet-proof vest. Duh.) I hope she takes extra lip gloss and moisturizer. Those chopper rides can be hell.

Today's rating: 7.3

encino is like so bitchin'

Good morning Miami. WSVN's storm tracker radar is picking up particulates in the air from the fires in Collier county and Brian's radar is picking up particulates in Elita's outfit .

There's that Return to Tiffany choker again.

I like the soft pink blouse. But why is it belted? Pink and black? Who wears that?

I'm feeling an 80's valley girl vibe. I think she should have gone all the way with it. Imagine that hair with some 80's volume...bangs teased and spritzed... "Good morning everyone. OH MA GAWD. Today's weather is going to be like totally GRODY". (insert valley girl face here). THAT would have been awesome.

Today's rating: 7.69**

** extra credit factored into today's rating for fabulous bone structure

Cheeky

Check out those cheekbones!

I don't even care that she's wearing white pants. You heard me right.

And to think that this hot hot hottie has such a firm grasp of complex meteorological phenomena...

Today's rating: 9.041

Brian is running late for work.
I welcome your comments on today's ensemble.

earth tones and arm scrunchies

Ms. Loresca paired an ecru U neck sweater- tank with chocolate trousers and bright white blouse. I immediately noticed how the earth tones complimented Elita's fine coco skin and chestnut highlights. Awesome. Beautiful. Foxy.

FYI: There is one small area of disturbance off the eastern coast of S. Florida. Ironically there are two small areas of disturbance on Elita's blouse just north of the Loresca mountains. Yes. Puffy sleeves that splay out at the armband. Perhaps this is a personal issue . Anyone who knows me (or has tried to pull up my sleeve to look at my tattoo) realizes that I hate having my garments stretched. In my eyes Elita looks like her sleeves have been violated. This look has recently popped up (or should I say puffed up) on American Idol so it must be in style. I will try to accept this fashion fad although to me they look like arm-scrunchies.

Today's rating: 8.94357

Babezilla

After a stormy start to the week Ms. Loresca chose to deliver today's forecast in all cotton. Why not? The blue and ebony fabric seems to hug Elita in just the right spots.

With the fighter jets flying over her shoulder it looks like a military Babe salute or maybe an attack...kinda like Godzilla. Echo Lima One - Niner....looks like we have the giant hottie at 4 o'clock.

Echo Lima One -Niner? Please respond. Are you flying with one hand again? Over. Today's rating 8.86

Tweekend

It's 0658 and I eagerly anticipate Elita's outfit. In two minutes I hope to share my joy with Miami as I jump back in the saddle and revisit...wait a minute ...here she comes....

Holy crap. Elita? May I ask you a question?

Who designed your blouse? It looks like Ralph Lauren and Whitney Houston collaborated in the dark basement of Ms. Houston's North Atlanta McMansion and stitched it together at the end of a 5 day tweekend. Ralph removes his classic white polo...Whitney grabs a satin pillowcase...rip. sew. rip. sew. "My Prerogative" blasts from a humongous boom box. ......Ralph sews. Whitney screams ... Ohhhhhhhhhh snap. Fabulous. Hold on ...I need fabric to blow out the sleeves..."

Temperature in FTL : 71

Today's rating: 6.6

Paper or plastic?

I should preface today's critique by expressing that I adore Elita. She is absolutely beautiful, intelligent, articulate and sophisticated. Sometimes her wardrobe reflects this. And sometimes it does not.

Here we go...

Ms. Loresca paired a shiny powder blue top with crisp ivory gauchos. Her color choices were soothing for a delightful spring forecast, however, the fabrics made me nervous. The iridescent crinkle blouse with exploding puffy balloon sleeves had a plastic like sheen. The sheer starched linen gauchos were paper thin. If the camera pulled back could we read the statewide temps right through them? I suppose North Florida would be blocked by her torso but we could see South Florida which is all we really care about anyway . Who needs Jacksonville? (insert banjo music here) But I digress...

With such an expressive outfit (take another look at those sleeves) it almost seemed as if Elita was taking a hair-nap. Why not complete this look with a sassy side ponytail or perhaps a giant rhinestone encrusted butterfly pin holding her bangs to the side? Look you guys...it's Bangkok Barbie! Something tells me there's a basket full of scrunchies just off camera. My fear is that it's only a matter of time... (sigh)

Today's rating: 6.04

Workin' 9 to 5, What a way to make a livin'....

Elita channeled Dolly Parton this morning with a short sleeved crimson sweater embellished with ivory lace and red ribbon reminiscent of Dolly's glory days on stage at Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Howdy Y'all!

Pairing the folksy top with a slim ebony skirt and super skinny belt smartened up the outfit.


Rainfall total in Cutler bay: 4.25

Today's rating: 7.25

That's where they found it you guys! On 595 in Davie.

As dawn broke Elita crossed the causeway en route to WSVN's North Bay Village studios with confidence knowing that if she lost her necklace it would most likely be returned to the original manufacturer, Tiffany & Co.

Today's look concerns me.

The "Return to Tiffany" line is very 1999. FYI: you can buy it from the "silver swamp" (I mean the more affordable section....just head toward stationery and paperweights) at Tiffany in Boca Towne Center. A perfect gift for a spoiled teenager (thanks Dad!) but dated and adolescent for international superstar Elita Loresca. Bring on the Bulgari please.

I should be thankful for the absence of machine-crafted Taiwanese plastic injection-molded accessories supplied by Claire's Boutique in Coral Ridge Mall. (Tucked discreetly between Payless and TCBY). Do they make a "Return to Claire's" necklace? Oh Snap!

Wait a minute... Is that belt (gasp) elastic? Is it connected to the blouse? I don't understand. Let's just pop in some shoulder pads and call it a day.

Still stunning, however, after Monday's ensemble I expect more.


Today's rating 6.6

It's Ms. Loresca. Thank you.

I beamed with glee as Elita's pixlated silouette slowly sharpened into focus revealing a decidedly modern interpretation of a traditional cornflower blue 3/4 sleeved 12 button cotton ribbed cardigan (can I get some help here with buttons 7-9?!) paired with an understated gray wool skirt.

Elita exercised restraint accessorizing with a simple necklace nestled discreetly above her mike (adjacent to button # 9) paired with bangle earrings. Why not?

Hair: perfection.

Elita, we could proudly send you to NATO as our weather ambassador in this ensemble.

Today's Rating: 9.8

It's good friday and i'm feeling a little naughty...

What a difference a day makes! Elita , properly primped and polished in her plum sweater, dutifully warned us to follow her lead and take a sweater today. Guys it's nippy out there!

Let's look at yesterday's mess (below).....now look at today....gorgeous. It's like yesterday's forecast was delivered by a stunt double flown in from New Jersey.

Welcome home Elita. Welcome home.

Today's rating. 9.6

OMIGOSH, you guys! Am I on camera? NO WAY!

I just can't deal with this right now. I'm compelled to go iron something.

Elita, go dry your hair. Please.

Today's rating: 4

p.s. I still totally love you. Shhhh.

Elita was off yesterday and judging from this outfit I guess she's not quite ready to come back to work. It's as if the forecast was a pit stop on her way to David Barton Gym at the Delano Hotel. Cardio Kickboxing anyone?

That being said, her look is decidingly understated which allows her natural (and enhanced) beauty to grace television screens from Marathon to Margate.

Elita, only you could pull off this look and make it work.


Today's rating: 7.5

If Pamela Anderson and Connie Chung had a baby....

Would she look like this?

Normally i would hate this outfit...but on Ms. Loresca it's sassy and downright gorgeous! Love the black pencil skirt shrink wrapped to her fabulous figure. I adore the peek-a-boo slit in front. Today she chose to accessorize with a tasteful tiny twinkling tennis bracelet. Good girl!

I'm wondering what those blouse buttons are made of? Probably the same material used on suspension bridges and the space shuttle. The pressure being exerted on them must be tremendous. It kinda looks like Elita planned ahead and stuck two spares on her belt just in case one popped off! Don't think I didn't notice the buttons on the sleeves. I just thank the good Lord they weren't black.

Wind speed in Kendall: 0

Today's rating: 9

Storm Tracker

It's casual Friday and the only storm I'm tracking is the wrinkle tempset in Elita's white cotton skirt.

I imagine Elita departed her tastefully decorated home perched high above Biscayne Bay, perfectly pressed; and somehow became embroiled in a skirtly skirmish as she put the petal to the metal and pounded her pink prada pump to the floor racing across the causeway en route to Channel 7's North Bay Village studios.
Of course, she may have just bounced into this outfit off-screen (like Superman); in which case the fault lies with the stylist. Elita, your'e so beautiful, but while I'm really expressing myself here I must ask: what's up with the puffy sleeves? are they for storage? what do you keep in there?

Today's Rating: 8

Do you love it? I love it...I got it at Ross!

Elita was beautiful as always, however, her outfit appeared to be hastily picked off the sale racks in the BACK of Ross on W49th Street in Hialeah. The white necklace certainly did not lend an air of sophistication to the ensemble.

*Jewelry should be made of precious or semi-precious stones, not plastic or candy.

What's next? A scrunchie?

If the camera had pulled back would we have seen Jimmy Choos or white Reeboks with puffy socks?

Elita, your'e still miles ahead of the grannys doing the weather at those other channels, however, this is Miami...not Daytona Beach.

Today's rating: 6

It's 7am and North Bay Village is EN FUEGO!

Wow. I nearly choked on my cheerios when Elita popped up on my husband's 40 inch flat screen samsung for the 7am forecast.

The girls were locked and loaded in a demure beige camisole beneath a chic 3/4 sleeved chocolate blouse with a camel pencil skirt. Her hair: playfully curly and pulled back gently above her regal forehead. Her makeup: light, fresh, very 2007. Elita smartly accessorized with gold and beaded necklaces that gracefully kissed her decolletage and seemed to whisper "look here Miami". Her forecast? Perfection.

Today's rating: 10+

Atta Gurl!

Monday March 26

It was a blue Monday as Elita delivered her forecast in an uninspiring drab teal blue short sleeved sweater paired with black pants. Even her hair seemed sleepy. However, her form fitting sweater fit perfectly as it cris-crossed her assets with a waffle-weave that stretched ever so slightly in all the right places. What's with all the hotties layering cotton fabrics on channel 7? Diana Diaz is sporting a similar look. Hmmmm.

Today's rating: 4

Elita, you can do better!

Elita's outfit on Friday March 23

Elita was magnificent in her ebony form fitting tank top paired with a short-sleeved shimmery ivory baby doll blouse. Perhaps this was not her most professional look, however, it was friday! I eagerly anticipate the morning I awake to see Elita's hair secured in a smart french twist. Elita, please don't lose those hoochie earrings. Snap.

This blog is dedicated to Elita Loresca and those of us that enjoy waking up to her every morning on channel 7.

Does anyone know if she owns her clothes or does she have a stylist?

Brian